Whew – glad that someone put these things in ink !

These dudes be going around acting like they’re doing us a favor by giving us 1 rose and taking us to Ruby Tuesday. Now don’t get me a wrong – everyone’s pockets aren’t fat, but doing those things in hopes of impressing us is an #EPICFAIL!

Overall, it’s just time for fellas to step their game up. It’s also time for the ladies to step up their expectations and stop taking the first dude that just happens to fit into all of these categories!

Well said and great advice!

It’s up!!! ) I’m first ) I love it ) I’m forwarding this….

WOW…ACCURATE AND FUNNY… does this always mean its just one tho… i mean sometimes that 3 can no act as unattractive as we think… i mean i like women that like me… this chasing/finding thing can get tiring for those who are really genuine and get tired of the run around with insecure women that i had nothing to do with their insecurities…
guess i gott just keep prayin…
ANYBODY FEEL ME?!?!

#1 is critical. i dated a dude once who wanted to go to applebees ALLLLL the time. i mean the apple crisp is good, i get it, but let’s go somewhere else, and not one of the restaurants that falls under the red lobster/applebees/longhorn umbrella!

Personally, I like orchids…. and hate Applebee’s.

And I also need you to be more into me than you are into yourself. I don’t need you to give a commentary on all the things that are wonderful about you… If you and your ego are so happy, I’ll leave you to enjoy your dinner and go kick it with someone that isn’t staring at himself in the napkin dispenser at the Johnny Rockets… I’m just sayin!

Hey Miss Toya. I love this post. Even though I am on the fence with the first one. I think if you have an established relationship then those resturants are okay. First date basis on the other hand, those places are not the biz.. If you are going on a first date, no one wants to go to a neighborhood spot where they can go there on their own time. Bring something new to the table. And if you are in a realtionship, those places are fine but don’t make it an every wknd thing. Get creative lol.

I do love the ratio rule though. I am tired of people saying that here in Atlanta…because either the men are gay or married….rme…not all of them are and not all men are good and some men are looking for decent women. I am so glad you brought that fact up!!!
I am young still in my twenties but I do know what I want when I find a boo so I like these!!!

LOL this is hilarious…one question tho. What if the above restaurants is all the dude can afford at the time being?

I’m totally not letting anyone off the hook with the “all I can afford right now is Applebees”. B/C clearly I’ve been to some nice spots where the food was a lot better and the prices were comparable. PRIME EXAMPLE: this month in our “Atlanta Hot Spots” article we reviewed Strip, and one of the things I focus on when doing these reviews is a low cost item on their menu. Not everyone is into sushi, but they have California Rolls on their regular menu for $4.95. It’s all about creativity and taking the time to think and research…that’s really all i’m saying.

Great points thought\!!

@carlin – totally understandable. i just think it’s important to mix it up…

I pretty much agree with everything you said so far…that ratio thing maybe alil off cuz most of these chicks be bi anyway. and to be honest..by the time you get through most of those “13″ or so woman, most
of them are messed up emotionally from the previous 2 or 3 dude b4 you. So I think the ratio is really like 3:1 ….

uh…anyBODYYYYYYYYYYY!!!???

Girl, this is my first visit to your site! Very impressive! Do your thing! But to the topic at hand, I hate to do this on my first visit but I have to disagree with you. Olive Garden is on of my most fav restaurants, I LOVE applebee’s drink specials and I am a sucker for roses. One thing folks should remember is that there are exceptions to every rule. I would rather go to a restaurant where we both feel comfortable on a first date than try to high class it at some spot where we may not even enjoy the food. And while I like different kinds of flowers, roses hold a special place in my heart. Nothing gets me like a dozen (or two) of beautiful long stem red roses.

On the other hand I TOTALLY agree with number 3! OMG you don’t know how many dudes had great potential until they went psycho stalker after two dinners and some phone time. I mean really if you are already this pressed what will happen if you get the goodies? In my book this is the biggest mistake a man can make. You can lie to me and I may try to excuse your poor behavior but act like a crazy stalker and I gotta let you go because I have no time for restraining orders and changing my phone number!

Keep up the good work girl! I will def have to visit your site more often!

Roses are still classy. You just gotta be wise when sending them. I agree with the restaurants. Heck, we’re in ATL, You can’t impress anyone with any of those places inless you live in Milledgeville….

monaT – i’ve dealt with someone like that. it’s crazy!

LOL Toya you are too funny… number 5 is soooooooo and about 98% funny but I do disagree with the 1 to 1 I think it is close to maybe 5 to 1 but even then you have to add the Love God more than anything not selfish, stubborn, spiteful, immature, or insecure thing. LOL …. And don’t even get me started about being a for real Christian. Like ol girl I was telling you about last night.
Now with number 1 completely agree I think its an ATLien thing. We are used to somany great culinary spots that there is no excuses for wanting crappy food. I hate when I ask a young lady where she wants to go eat and she throws up one of those spots. In the back of my mind I am thinking “are you serious?” I think the funniest thing about eating out is the experience and ambiance if you ask me. Shoot if you just don’t want to me hungry anymore you can get a meal from anywhere. But what will you remember. don’t get me wrong anybody who knows me know I LOVE seafood so after awhile some times I just want so Red Lobster… its like some times you want McDonalds… But Vortex is more chick but you just have a craving for something good large portion cheap food. LOL.
I agree with #2 to a certain extent. Really enjoy giving gifts and I like saying something with roses because the colors and combination of colors mean things. But when I do give flowers I like to give the ones that continually bloom yearly cuz then its like you will always remember. That’s if you take care of them. LOL….

So what do you think about that Priss?

LOL @ Oldskool and Milledgeville….

okay okay so a dude is supposed to take his date to Strip (or any restaraunt) and be like “just get that sushi right there” Or should he just tell her how much money he has to spend? or?? (LOL) this just sparked a facebook post. But I’ll post it on here first… SHOULD A DUDE BE DATING IF HE’S BROKE? (not to switch the topic of the blog)

I disagree with #1 only because not all women see those resturants as a bad spot for instance we My wife and I go to nice places to eat but one of her favorite spots is Longhorns. Now if a guy is just being lazy and or cheap then yeah he has to step his game up and do better than those places.

-Now as far as don’t lie: I agree to the fullest but its two sides two that. Tell the laides not to wear 50 pounds of weave and make-up and have these fake standarnds that they can not maintain themselves. Yes we like for our women to good but it dont take all of that.

TPrissy…I am so with you on the honety thing. If a man is not “there” yet cool. Its not that he won’t be, but give ma a chance to make a decision on whether or not I’m willing to wait until he gets “there”. Dag don’t lie and then by default lose.

***about the restaurants AGREED!!!!! By default there will be NO SECOND DATE!!! If your pockets don’t look well that week…WAIT or BE SUPER CREATIVE!

@ Carlin. It’s like this. I don’t think its to wise for a dude to be “Tricking” if he don’t have it. You can do tons of cool fun stuff without having to spend a whole grip of money. Like i remember Pastor telling us one day how he took Taffi to breakfast all the time when they frist started kicking it cuz he was broke. but he had to start spending time with her cuz its was this other dude who was liking her. So it kind of depends on the situation
Speaking as a professional. NO! If you can’t afford it then don’t. Speaking as a regular dude. Yeah!! but do pick nicks, Free day at museums, ice cream in the park. Cook, Stuff like that. Shooot I go out o dates with Zoe` ( my daughter) all the time and my budget gets TIGHT but i want to make sure i spend quality time with her and teach her how a man should treat her. so i have to get creative. Ya Dig!?!

I Love this column. You are not going at the guys too hard. We guys are always saying we want a five star chick. Well you dont take a 5 star chick to a 2.5 star place and expect for her to be happy. 5 star people hang at 5 star places. Simple as that! Now Playing “Devils Advocate”; Women need to evaluate themselves. Speaking for me I only take a 5 star chick to a five star place. If she is a 3 star we are going to Ruby Tuesday! lol I can’t chance she embarass us both because she cant sit up and eat properly and never seen “French Water” served in a Champagne glass. Trust me I know from experience. If you have to worry about the price then you should’nt be there!

cool! I love the way you explore the reality of 1:1 ratio at any time
very nice!
and yes, if you are not creative, than do you really want to spend time with this person? if your not creative in dating, how the hell are you going to get through and entire marriage????

@E. Dean Yeah I can dig it. I just remembered when I was single and wanting to approach a woman but I knew my funds wasnt right at the time. (I could only pay for MY basic necessities) I didnt want to come off as “broke” to a female. But yeah It depends on the female/situation like you said. Some women may not mind creativity and sandwiches others may like that Houstons/Benihanas circuit lol….and then maybe she’s just out of your league.

Prince Lamar makes some great points and carlin’s question about dating if you’re broke was something that crossed my mind after reading the thread. i mean, let’s be honest, money affords you more options when it comes to where you can go and what you can do. i guess it depends on the girl and if she’s cool with it. if the girl is cool with always doing budget dates that is fine, but it’s nice to be able to have some variety. again, i think the issue with #1 is the creativity and variety factor, which means researching, which alot of people just don’t put the effort into. there are alot of restaurants that are in the same price range as the aforementioned. Creative Loafing is a great resource magazine (and free) that provides alot of information on local dining..

@carlin – exactly, u gotta be honest about the type of chick you’re dating, and everyone has a right to the standards they want or have come to expect. i think the attitude and character of the guy plays a role too, like if the guy has all the other qualities you are looking for but he’s just not financially sound yet, that’s different from a dude who has issues and on top of it he’s broke! it really depends on the female though..

Granted…MonaT, I can’t speak for all women as far as restaurant choices or flowers of choice, but what I can speak to is a little creativity. I love me some Southwestern Egg Rolls from Chilis, anything with Jack Daniels sauce from TGIF and let’s not talk about Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Red Lobster….but that’s not the point. Neither is it the point that a guy has to take you to an upscale, expensive restaurant. It’s more about creativity and forethought. As women, we want to know that you’ve thought enough about our time together that you didn’t just drive my Longhorn and decide that’s where we need to go. The same thing applies with roses. I love them, but it requires no thinking to buy a rose and a little more thiking to buy something a little more exotic. It’s more about the thought than the money.

I still hate Applebees!!!

I like the post. But i would even say the number of women with children should be higher. I agree with you totally on the numbers. Its not about just having more to choose from its about the quality of the pool. And that’s why I get women who say men have it easier picking a women.

Wow! Yall are definately going in on this one…
@MonaT: I totally agree with you about it being exceptions to every rule… but I think every girl can appreciate some creativity, why? because most women can go to these “basic” restaurants without a date.
Once again with the flowers it all goes back to creativity… if you like roses then he should know that but what about a bouquet of red roses with one yellow one just because thats ur fav color?
@Carlin: Personally I dont think a dude should be dating if he is broke…

I agree totally with the post from start to finish. Esp # 4, PLZ DON’T LIE!!
I am so over the fabricated lives of these dudes as well as them lying about the simplest things… If u like me then ok, if you don’t then ok… just keep it 100 all the time! I like Blk & White, plz dont give me Gray!

Geez, roses still have its advantages….especially when it is presented in a special way, at an unexpected time. truthfully, is taking a chick out to one of those places really a date? I take my female friends out all the time to those places to just hang out and chill. But what ever happened to WORKING out things….Some people just don’t know. Help the brotha become more creative. Because don’t be talking about me taking you out to eat, and you don’t know how to cook halfway decent. Or don’t know how to present yourself on a date. like if I pay for the dinner…you pay the tip. Or If I open your car door, you reach over and unlock mine. etc.

OK, so I get the creativity thing but I think its a bit much for girls to demand anything on a date. We don’t have to handle that part so we shouldn’t be so picky….just my thoughts. I don’t mind what a guy does on the first date as long as he doesn’t commit a rule breaker. But other than that, its your world…we are just starting out and getting to know each other. If you demand alll this on day one what the heck are you gonna be later? Ladies need to let it go and appreciate the free meal even if it is only a 2 for $20 at applebee’s!

Oldskool…Trust me I feel you on the working things out tip, believe me…I’m all for it! I’m all in. Again, the issue here is totally about creativity and forethought. Be creative…think outside of the box.

MonaT – I feel you girl! I think a lot of women have unfair expectations of men. But when creativity becomes to much to ask for on a date….take me outta the game for good, I’m riding solo, cuz I’m obviously in the wrong business!

@MonaT: I don’t think a nice dinner is too much to ask for on a first date. I believe it comes down to a woman knowing her worth and exactly what she wants in a man.
The thing is we don’t demand certain things in the beginning then later on in the relationship we begin to expect certain things and then the guys start looking at us like we are crazy because we have totally switched up the rules in the middle of the game. And truthfully thats unfair to the male.
Call me high maintenance but its gonna take a lil more that a 2 for $20 at Applebees to get me, and its not because of the dollar amount more than its about the principle.
Like Oldskool said… he takes his “homegirls” to restaurants of that caliber all the time…

I actually like applebees but NOT as a special occasion deal… with that being said here’s my “fellas please don’t”…

Fellas please don’t be such a mystery! I think it’s GREAT to have real mean of God who are searching for Gods perfect timing to start a relationship and one day get married however nonetheless if you’re feelin her, let “her” know!! Or at the least “act like it” Guys have this thing abt making sure they have EVEYTHING lined up right before they “settle down” and even the bible says if you wait for the clouds to be perfect you’ll wait forever… or something like that…

Here’s my point, don’t get so caught up in planning that you risk missing the very thing you’re looking for…

Btw, all y’all are so on point!!!! iLove it!!!!
I want to comment on them all!! Don’t know which one to choose aahhhhh I’ve got TPrissy.com fever!

Sonshine – Couldn’t agree with you more. I know so many guys that wait for the stars to align before they take a step. At the same time, please believe if they say they aren’t ready…go with it. You don’t want to get into a situation where you semi-force someone into something before its time. “If someone tells you who they are…believe them”. lol

Oh most definitely!!! Great stuff!!

OH TOYA! LET ME PREACH ON #3! Being thirsty is SUCH a major turn off. When a guy starts acting like that, I feel kind of embarrassed for him. Like dude, do you realize that all your swag just went out the window? And if I was feeling the guy, this type of behavior makes me start second-guessing.

Pancakes, bacon, and strawberries, oh-my! breakfast at 3:00 am is soooo sexy. Roses smell like boo-boo. Orchids are interesting.

The ratio comment was spot on! I consider myself to be a man of high caliber. Why would I expect less. One must always “inspect what you expect”. I am also in TOTAL agreement with the restaurants mentioned of places NOT to take a date or potential wifey to. I personally being a Chef don’t like any of those restaurants. The food is awful and there is absolutely no ambiance. It also takes minimal effort and creativity to take someone there. Step outside the norm and take her some place exotic. Something she has never experienced before. Or how about a nice picnic in the park. Showing the initiative and taking charge shows her you care. But I do believe it starts with the selection of woman first. Because lets face it out of this so called ratio not all deserve the best, some of these women deserve some hot wings and a bud light!

A lot of great issues amongst the sexes were addressed, but why are we dating up in the church anyway? Gen 2:18 folks…dating is a waste of time when you could be focusing that same energy on whatever ministry you are involved. Why is it a waste of time? Its like sampling different flavors of ice cream at Bruster’s. Though you may date a man/woman, it does not guarantee marriage. The Holy Spirit will have the last say so anyway (if you LET Him of course)…I’m just saying. In developing TRUE friendships amongst each we can not only help to guard each other’s hearts, we can guard our own.