TPrissy.com | Some Things Sound Better in Ink

Menswear 2011

tprissy — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 02:22:03 +0000

Check out my menswear must haves

Get ready With Tprissy

simakan — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 01:46:27 +0000

Hey this video is on me getting ready…. can you keep up?

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Happy New Year…Why Wait?

tprissy — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 13:47:07 +0000

You know how there’s a Chinese New Year? And then there’s a Jewish New Year? And then we Westerners celebrate our own New Year? Well, I figured a couple of years back that I could create my own New Year too. How ambitious of me, right? Well, I did!

October 2011 marks the 3rd annual celebration of “Happy New Year…Why Wait”….WOO HOO!

This whole concept started with my idea that New Year’s resolutions are STUPID. Just my opinion. Well, maybe stupid is not the word; ineffective might be more appropriate. For me, my new year starts today – EVERYDAY. I made a commitment to no longer wait until the New Year to examine. Why should I wait until 2012 to decide what my life will look like, both in my present moment and the moments that are to come? Resolutions are great. But whatever you resolve to do, there has to be action for the rest of your life to maintain what’s been resolved.

You have to decide at some point that you want to be different. And not different from anyone else, but different from YOU; different in a real, true sense. Not a false sense of a change that outwardly satisfies others, but a true and internal change that would challenge you even to the core of the person that you’d convinced yourself that you were.

You have complete mastery of your whole life. Whatever you want your life to be – it can and WILL be. You have the authority and the ability to COMMAND everything that directly or indirectly affects you to line up. You are not a victim, but the contrary, a VICTOR. You are not a prisoner of circumstances. You don’t have to settle for the “hand” that’s been dealt to you. No one is more of an authority on your life than YOU.

With that, I encourage everyone who will take the time to read this blog. Own your life. Make it what you want it to be. If you are in what may seem like a dead end situation, CHANGE IT! And don’t make the change about anyone or anything else but GOD and YOU!

You were created to be the flyest, dopest, tightest, greatest, smartest, most fabulous person that you can be. Today marks the beginning. So why wait for the ball (or it’s pathetic counterpart – the peach) to drop? Let’s all resolve what our present moment (2011) and our future (2012) will be…and let’s make it happen!

On October 11, 2012 we will celebrate the NEW YEAR!

ASSIGNMENTS COMING SOON…

QOD: Marriage, This is It?

tprissy — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 12:00:36 +0000

I was so excited to get and be married at 23, I didn’t know what to do. There was, of course, the honeymoon period which was bliss. But after the honeymoon period I quickly learned what marriage REALLY looked like, and what it was REALLY about.

Here’s the question to my married folks…or even divorced/widowed:

What are some of the things that you found out about marriage that you wish someone would have told you prior to getting into it? What are some realities that you overlooked as a single person? Be honest…there are lots of single people who need to hear it.

MARRIAGE & DIVORCE

tprissy — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 15:16:54 +0000

Yep, I’m divorced.

No, I don’t wear it like a badge of honor. It’s not something I’m necessarily proud of, but neither is it something that I’m ashamed of. It’s a real event that happened in my life. I am the full owner of the decision and everything that has come along with it good and bad.

I think that when I got divorced, people thought that it now made me the advocate for leaving. They would come to me for marriage advice and I’m sure they were hoping that I would give them an “out”. NEWSFLASH: I’m pro-family. Pro-work-it-out, pro-get-over-yourself, pro-honor-your-vows.

You get the point.

“Well, why did you get divorced, TPrissy, if you’re soooooooooooo pro-marriage.”

Well…….that’s none of your business. Neither is it the motivation behind this post.

My whole reason behind writing this post is to encourage those of you who are married and contemplating ending it all. It’s not worth it. Love is a decision, not a feeling. Sometimes you have to love your spouse through your feelings and command your feelings to line up. Divorce is like death. At least that’s the way the breaking of the covenant feels….like a part of you has died. Within a marriage you are so vulnerable to your spouse. There is a love that is shared that comes close to the love and intimacy that we share with God. When that is broken there is devastation. And the devastation of a broken marriage has a ripple affect.

Think about this:

1. What about the kids? Who will they live with? How often will you see them?
2. What about the finances?
3. Whose gonna get the furniture?
4. What about your mom? His mom? Your family? His family?
5. What about mutual friends?
6. What about your last name?
7. What about all the things that you’ve built?
8. How much does a divorce cost?
9. Where will you live now?
10. What about your credit? How will it be affected?

All I’m saying is think…think it all the way through…count all of the cost. Is it worth it? Really? Most things are just a matter of selfishness, dying to yourself and serving your spouse. Marriage is not easy, but nothing worth it ever is. But it can be so beautiful when you stay true to it and fight through the hard times.

Just wanted to drop a line of encouragement to those thinking of throwing in the towel. God is in the restoration business and if you give your marriage to Him, He will take it to heights you’ve never seen before.

By the way…..I was a bad chick when I was single before marriage. I was fly while I was married. And I’m SUPA fly having been divorced. No matter what happens in life, hold your head high and never let anybody see you sweat!

Marriage & Divorce (Part 2)

tprissy — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:00:00 +0000

I love you guys so much. You always show so much support. And I love how when I post a topic some of you ask the tough questions and pose so many various sides to the coin. After yesterday’s topic, I received a very moving inbox message while I was working on Part 2 of this post.

It read:

Hi Toya, I saw your post on marriage and divorce and I read your posts on FB. I think when you share you come straight from the hip, which is how I take things best – *Honesty*.

Okay, I have a question/comment for you but I didn’t want it to seem that I was hashing the host (so to speak) on your site and wanted to give you the respect while posing this to you by sending a message because it is genuinely a question and not a judgement by any means and didn’t want anyone to take it as such. It’s dialog.

I ask because I minister to a lot of young women many of whom are very discouraged at the number of leaders and well known folk who are divorcing particularly in the church. Your encouraging words of giving your marriage to God and He will take it to heights because He is in the restoration business I’m sure ministers to many and to us. My question to you is, is this something that you discovered AFTER your divorce, or is it something you rebelled against?

I love hearing REAL testimonies of young people to share with these young girls to encourage them. Many question the whole institution of marriage when they see the Benny Hinn’s and others but sincerely want their confidence restored (and God is doing it!)

I would love to share your information along with others that I often use (including myself). My story is different, I’m widowed but we were separated for years before he died because of his cheating. This doesn’t sound like your story.

Again, just to get understanding. Is this something that was hard for you to grasp, rely on, trust in, or even know was available?

Thanks for your site, I’m sure it ministered to many. I love what you’re doing!!! God bless you Toya! Hopefully, I’m not too forward in asking. Please, don’t share specifics just related to your above quote. At 51, I know first hand the ramifications that follow and like you, I try to encourage everyone to try and work through it all (with few exceptions) before resorting to divorce. So, I know that you are on point when you said what you said. It’s difficult. I praise God that after 17 years He brought the PERFECT person (not a perfect person, but the perfect person) for me!

My Response:

As you have gathered, I am a very forward person. My skin is thick and I am not easily offended. I take no offense to your questions/comments….I think that they are valid and reasonable. As I have stated, I am pro-marriage. I believe that God is a healer and a restorer. But God is not a magician and all marriage situations are not created equal. I have already began to write a Part 2 to this article, because I believe that there is a flip side and in some cases…divorce is the most healthy and necessary option (we don’t talk about that much in church, although it is a reality).

My decision to get divorced had little to do with my lack of belief in God’s ability to restore, I was fully aware of His restoration power, but it was more about my understanding that God gave us dominion over principalities, powers, situations, etc…but not over the will of other people. I sought the Lord heavily before deciding to divorce and in my case, it was the best option. There is no blanket answer that works for every situation. God is not a blanket God who does things the say way everytime. Having a relationship with Him is key…allowing Him to lead and guide you into all truth….FOR YOU!

I believe that when we religious-ize divorce, by saying that God hates it and condemning and looking down upon people who get divorced, we can potentially bind people to situations that may be harmful. There is no easy way to address such a complex subject that can have so many variables. And you never really know what happens behind the closed doors of other people’s homes. It is the will of God that we prosper and be in health, even as our soul prospers. Some marriage situations are harmful, damaging, stressful and could even be deadly. It is not the will of God for someone to be stuck in a marriage situation where this is the case.

My heart is to free the minds and hearts of people who have walked through a divorce. It is not the end of the world. You are not a failure. You are not a sucky, terrible person. Life happens. In this world you will have trouble, trials, tribulations and tests. Unfortunately we don’t get to pick the form in which our trouble comes…but we do have the ability to be overcomers of whatever is thrown our way. It is never the end. Starting over can be hard and scary. But God said that our end is guaranteed to be good! And that’s where we can find peace and rest.

QOD: What If There’s No Hell

tprissy — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:10:47 +0000

The cover story this week of Time Magazine reads, What If There’s No Hell. Hmmm….what if? Do you believe in hell? What would it mean to you if the place we know as hell really didn’t exist?

QOD: You’re Fat!!!

tprissy — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:01:07 +0000

Is it fair for a man to put weight requirements on his wife or significant other? What should a husband do if his wife gains a significant amount of weight while they’re married? How should he approach her about the weight gain? Is it even that serious?

Dying: My Motivation

tprissy — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 12:00:18 +0000

What’s your motivation?

Why do you do the things that you do?

What moves you? What drives you?

Most of us aren’t driven by anything. And some of us are driven by the wrong things. Honestly, I’ve been completely overwhelmed for about two months now and struggled to find the motivation to even post new articles, do research for articles, get all dolled up to record videos…..NOTHING.

So I said it….there it is. Now what?

Shoot me! (or not, j/k)

But then one day I remembered the words of a friend when he said “Toya you never know who’s watching you. YOu never know who’s logging in waiting to hang on to the next word that you write. It aint about you”

Those words came back to me like a flood.

“It aint about you”

It’s hard to continue on a path that looks like it’s leading to oblivion unless you’re doing it with a mind, vision and motivation that’s greater than yourself.

What is it that you aspire to do in life? Why? Is it to make a lot of money? Is it to achieve celebrity status? Is it to prove a point to you are someone else? What is it?

My encouragement to every reader out there is to find a purpose worth living for that’s greater than yourself. Scratch that….find a purpose worth DYING for that’s greater than yourself. And once you die for the greater good of someone or something else. It’s at that point alone that you truly live.

DIE!

Tales of a Light Skinned Chick

tprissy — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 06:38:32 +0000

It’s totally ridiculous that it’s 2011 and I even have a blog post with the term “Light Skinned” in the title, but oh well, such is life in the world we live in. We’d all like to believe that the shade of our skin doesn’t matter, as it shouldn’t….but the reality is, it does.

I’ve heard many of my dark skinned friends and associates speak on the fact that they hate the term “you’re pretty to be dark skinned” but they hear it all the time. And I think that’s quite ignorant if you ask me. But on the flip, I had a dude tell me recently “I started not to talk to you because you’re light skinned”

<53.13 minute blank stare> +

C’mom son! Are you seriously saying this to me right now? And his theory was that light skinned women are stuck up, they think they are all that, they think the world revolves around them, etc…

<1 hour blank stare>

That is such an unfair assumption and probably is the most annoying statement I’ve heard in my life and quite frankly I’m over it!

This is especially an issue among black females. We give each other such a hard time for so many things. Oftentimes, I feel like a lot of women won’t even give me a chance and have a pre-conceived notion about who I am based on the complexion of my skin…which is OBSURD. And a lot of women have even stated that they had an idea about who I was prior to meeting me, only to be proven wrong. I get it, I guess. The media is constantly perpetuating images of women who are light-skinned with long hair, big booties and big titties. I think that plays tremendously on the psyche of dark skinned women. But even with that said, we have to take a more proactive role as women to not perpetuate the same stereotype.

It’s time to get it together. At some point we have to stand up and take our power back and not allow external things to deteriorate our self confidence and hinder the relationships we’re destined to have with one another. It starts with each one of is taking responsibility to change the way we think.

Yeah, I’m light skinned…and I LOVE IT. And I don’t love it for any other reason than….that’s the way God created me, and that’s reason enough.